I want to go somewhere. I know there are better places than where I live. I see them in pictures and desktops all the time. I want to be there, or better, live there. I want to stand in one of those breathtaking valleys, on the edge of a lake surrounded by mountains, right next to a waterfall that is twenty times my size. I want be surrounded by beauty and not just dream about it all the time. There is too much to see and feel to just be stuck someplace for years and years. People say you have to be successful and know what you want to do for a job and be in school all the way into your twenties and to go through the same schedules and live the same day over and over just so that you have an income and be stuck in a house till you retire, and then when your old and regreting not having done anything with your life, you may try to do something you had been planning, but it would be more of a goodbye rather than a hello. I want to see other ways to live than this. I am happy I have the freedom to do so, but the way most people live creates so much pressure against what I want to do, that I am not sure it will happen. What will I do? How will I get there? What would I live on? How will I have money? Who will support my dream?
People these days believe that what I want is some kind of a dream, and maybe it is, but I want it to be my life. I want to go to cozy little coffe shops in the middle of a small town and observe people, and write about beauty, love, and life. I want to write poetry. I want to read at least a hundred books a year. I want to breath tons of fresh air. I want to visit the grand canyon. You know? Places that are just so untouched and beautiful and overwhelming that it brings tears to your eyes, and not because you spent a whole lifetime not knowing what you were missing. I want to listen to some of my favorite music while going of a road trip through the west coast. I want to get my hands dirty and maybe work on a farm. Keep a journal. Write everyday. Take some of these amazing photographs that I mentioned earlier. I could go on and on, but I can only do so much stuck where I am at the moment.
Again, what I want and who I am (not to mention how old and aware I am), conflicts with what I want. Very frusterating. But have to have dreams to get where and what you want. *sigh* And the journey is the best part right? Without the journey...what is the end? In any love story you read or watch in a movie...there has to be conflict and tension before there is true love, or it won't be that great of a love story, would it? So hopefully, all I need to worry about is the journey, and make sure I take the road I want, and it will just lead me to where I want to go.
Until then...I dream on!
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Yes, truly, dream on. And then, when you are able (and after planning your trip literally too), you can go and do all of the things you want to do. What you do now is prepare. What will help you on the journey? Photography classes? Taking photos, lots of them. Studying your driver's ed and driving practice so your parents don't worry about you so much when you drive off into the sunset. Um, find a simple job that you can do anywhere (waitress comes to mind, but there are others) so you can move freely about the cabin of this world. Oh, and watch people now. Write now. Keep a journal now. And best of all, keep dreaming! Start a dream journal. Cut out pictures, paste them in, write about what you want. See it. Feel it. Know it. That way, you can just open a page and say, "This, this is what I want to do today!"
I love you! :)) xoxoxoxox
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